When Your Dog Doesn’t Like Other Dogs, Why That’s OK

Conker is my 12-year-old street dog, and he doesn’t like other dogs. And you know what? That’s absolutely fine with me.

Not every dog is a social butterfly, just as not every human wants to be at a party every weekend. What matters is not whether a dog likes others, but how we manage their comfort and safety in a busy, dog-filled world.

Conker’s Backstory

When we lived in Singapore, we fostered street dogs for a charity. Conker was one of the many puppies that came through our door.  When Conker was just three months old in Singapore, we fostered him out to a couple who returned him the very next day. They said they were allergic, but also told us he had been attacked by two Golden Retrievers. That experience set a pattern for Conker’s outlook on life, bark to warn dogs off.  (Obviously Conker then never left our family!)

In Singapore, this wasn’t a big problem. Dogs were few and far between on our walks, and Conker lived alongside other dogs at home, so it was easy to manage. You would think that meant he would be fine with dogs in general. Wrong.

Coming Back to Wandsworth

When we returned to Wandsworth after Covid, the world had changed. Before I left in 2010, I could pretty much recognise every dog on the common. Coming back, it felt like the number of dogs had exploded. For Conker, it was overwhelming. Suddenly, avoiding dogs was not an option anymore.

The Power of Disengagement

So we rolled up our sleeves and worked on his disengagement. I chose a cue word,’ easy’, which means, ‘distraction isn’t your business’. I taught it, trained it, and tested it. And like all good training, it did not happen overnight.

Consistency was the key. I used easy not just around other dogs, but around any distraction. This was so that Conker did not associate the word with dogs and immediately become defensive.  I used it when car drove by, when cyclists pedalled past, when a train rattled along its tracks and when I saw a dog.  Over time, something magical happened, Conker started to disengage himself. These days, he often spots a dog before I do, turns to me, and asks with his eyes, ‘What now?’ That moment of choice is golden, and I usually call him back and reward him.  Yes, I still bring treats on every walk even though Conker is 12 because making those choices is something I want him to continue to do so I make it worthwhile.

Does it work 100% of the time? Of course not. No dog, and no human, is perfect. If Conker has had too many encounters in a row and his stress has stacked up, he may still bark and run at a dog to warn them off. But the difference is that now he recovers quickly, and I know how to support him.

Managing the City Dog World

One thing I cannot control is other dogs. Off-lead dogs will always exist, and not every recall is polished. If I see a dog bounding towards us, Conker goes straight on lead, and I position myself between him and the approaching dog. Most people understand that a lead signals a reason, though not all.

And honestly, I would rather other people’s dogs get their freedom to run than demand every dog has a ‘perfect’ recall. Because here is the truth, perfect recall does not exist. 

The Bigger Picture

Conker has taught me something important, dogs do not need to be dog-park social to live rich, fulfilled lives. What they do need is thoughtful management, training that helps them make better choices, and owners who accept them for who they are.

For me, success is not Conker running up to play with strange dogs. It is him seeing a dog in the distance, choosing to look at me, and me saying, easy.

That is our version of harmony, and it works.

Want More City Dog Tips?

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